Monday, September 17, 2012

Thank You To All Metaphysical Entrepreneurs...

Thank you to the Light Workers, Healers, Holistic Sharers, Naturopaths, to all Spirited Entrepreneurs at the Metaphysical Fair this Labor day weekend of 2012 in Denver, Colorado.

I am doing something a little unusual for me, feeling inspired and wanting to reconnect with the Metaphysical and Holistic world. As I am being forward, and truly want to "Thank you" all for such a pleasurable day, I also felt compelled to share,... Why I am sending out this post?

Well to open with,

As I was walking the aisles on Friday, at the opening of the Fair via the Merchandise Mart, I was filled with excitement to be reconnecting with the many people who have been reaching out to the community, to help the many people who are in need of Metaphysical services.

It is so moving and awesome of you' to do what you do:)

"Helping to improve the quality of life."

"Helping with promoting self healing and self empowerment."

"Helping with relieving ailments, energy blocks, subconscious triggers."

"Helping us to just be us.."

I had the pleasure of sitting in on some of the seminars, one especially moved me, Charol Messenger, she was inspiring and the messages/quotes she read from her books made so much sense.

If you are not familiar with Charol Messenger, she is the author of many books, Wings of Light, Humanity 2.0, helped many writers and has been in the metaphysical world for over 30 years, here's a link to her blog: The New Humanity Is Now.

"In the most deepening meaning it was about our existence and the true treasure of being aware of it."

A special Thanks to Charol Messenger, you most definitely inspired me in many ways.

Afterwards I had a mini reading from Charol Messenger, and I had one particular question in mind, the reason I came back to Denver, the real reason...

As she gave the reading she talked about all the Spirits that were around me encouraging me, having my back on this very special mission. I was so moved I almost cried, but yet it wasn't about that.

She spoke of the intense energy and how warm my hands were, as she caught her breath she said she hadn't felt anything like that in a while.

She advised me to contact someone very connected in the Metaphysical World, .. Aurelia-Tara, so as to become reconnected with the Light-Worker and Holistic community.

This is what I truly wanted..

You see.. I started out as a Holistic and Soul nurturer.. Before I left Denver, I was an intern at a Xchel Healing Arts. I was learning many modalities. An interest I had for many years, in fact for over 2 decades.

As a young girl I always did feel connected and wanted to help my community, help people who are need of healing services, or offer some services of my own.

Back to my reason for sending this letter and reaching out..

This is about connecting with you all and letting you know that I am back in Denver to help promote the Metaphysical and Holistic World. When I left Colorado just a few years ago, my intention was to help promote my business.

But instead Spirit had something else in mind, ..

This is about you and giving back to all the Light-Workers that gave back to many. Helping Light-Workers, Healers, Holistic, Naturopaths, Hypnotherapist, Metaphysicians, anyone who is interested in improving the quality of life, and is a Soul Nurturer.

This is why I am sending this Special Event message out to you' , that for the first time in Denver at the Nic Nac Nook Metaphysical Book Store, there will be a very special guest speaker Chris Lang. He and I will be teaching about how to promote your business.

Who is Chris Lang, he is the Author of, "The Truth About Google Plus", Email Jedi, Wickedly Evil Marketing Tactics, Plenzes.

He has over 30,000 people following him on Google Plus, and shares how his following grew and still is. And why people are so interested in what he has to share.

He is well known in the internet world as a internet marketing strategist and has consultant many companies. He is also an international speaker, and has live streamed many events. To find out more about what he does here's the link on his Google Plus profile, Chris Lang

As I mentioned before;

I left Denver over 3 years ago to get an education on promoting business online, and utilizing the latest technology to promote services and getting more visibility.

What I have learned I am sharing with the "Spiritual Entrepreneur" community. (Thank you Robert Morgen for coining the phrase)

Here are the details in my blog about the Event:Social Media Special Event In Denver Colorado

So, as I am being bold in writing this post to share with you today about a Special Event happening.. on September 22 at 2p.m.

To find out more about the Social Media Event at the Nic Nac Nook in Denver Colorado just view the video below:)

This marks the first class on how to promote your business for Metaphysical, and Holistic, Entrepreneurs, I just want you to know, how truly I am so inspired by you:)

The location is at the Nic Nac Nook, 4280 Morrison Rd, Denver Colorado 80219.

Again, Thank you for your time.. Thank you for your dedication, Thank you for giving back, Thank you for being the Light Workers you all are.. Much continue success along your journey..


Margie D Casados

The Art of Healing Book and Social Media Healing Arts Consultant

PS. We are accepting $5.00 donations for the room space, however just mention you received this post in your email, and then mention the "Social Media Special Event", to a staff member at the Nic Nac Nook and the Class is free, my gift to you:)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Social Media Special Event In Denver Colorado

Special Event: Social Media, Google Plus, YouTube meets all Healers, Light-workers, Metaphysical, Self Help, Self Empowerment, Reiki, Hypnotherapists, Reflexologists, and anyone who has services that are focused on the healing arts and on improving the quality of life for individuals.

We will be sharing some of the latest techniques on how to improve your reach with clientele.

Where is this Special Event taking place? You ask...Well just click on the video and find out more.. :)

Special Event Location: at the Nic Nac Nook, 4280 Morrison Rd., Denver Colorado For more information phone number: 303-922-9063

Map: here...

Date: Sept 22, 2012 at 2p.m.

Special Event is for..

For anyone who has ever wanted to utilize the internet and social media to connect with more clients and promote your services.

For anyone who has ever felt they have a book to write and share there work with the world via the latest strategizes via Amazon/Kindle. Ever wondered what it would be like to have a book published? Really...

Ever wonder what it would be like to have your own magazine, and have people access your latest article via the phone? With our specialized platform we spent a year building you can via Gadget MVP.

For anyone who is interested in providing services with more ease and to utilize Google Plus hangouts on Air, just like President Obama did. Yes, that's right the President utilized Google Plus Hangouts to gain more exposure and connect more with the people.

For anyone who wants to know why social media is so important and it the new form of word of mouth, via word of mouse on your computer.

For anyone who wants to learn how to strategize their business into optimal exposure via utilizing YouTube and why it is more important than ever to share and demonstrate your techniques from your services, or show off your art, this is the one not to miss.

For anyone who has ever thought of having their own show on the TV, via using Google TV or Smart TV's, to gain more exposure.

How do I find out about all this? You ask...

Just be at the Nic Nac Nook, September 22 at 2p.m. in Denver Colorado, we will be sharing the latest and best information on how to bring your business up to the next level.

This information is valuable and is time tested and has been analyzed for years.

Chris Lang is our special guest expert, he is the Author of "The Truth About Google Plus",Email Jedi, Wicked Evil Marketing Tactics, and Plenzes.

He has over 30,000 people following him on Google Plus, and shares how his following grew and still is. And why people are so interested in what he has to share.

He is well know in the internet world as a internet marketing strategist and has consultant many companies. He is also an international speaker, and has live streamed many events.

So, on September 22, at 2p.m. he will be sharing and demonstrating Google Hangouts, and much much more.

This is an Special Event not to miss.. See you there..

Thursday, June 21, 2012


Comes the thought ….mind awaits.. ..
and knowing becomes amazed..

How I am in wonder, wonder says to itself..

Are we here ..thought asks itself...

Thought presents mind the most precious gift
kindly introduces memory..

As we wait..
We wonder..thought..and memory..

We our in grace with know..
Not to be with know is a misfortune..

Our wealth is realized..

As we .. thought, wonder..and memory are in awe of know..

And then... know with exhilaration introduces.. Aware..

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Is Pure Consciousness The Unified Field?

To explore,
Is to open up to a possibility,
Is to open up to possible discovery,
Is to open up to the possibilities of "Knowing the Self"..

Why do I propose and share about consciousness and how it effects our well being?
I believe through awareness and getting to know ourselves is the beginning of change. As we start to understand ourselves we can better care for ourselves and it empowers us to have a better quality of life, body, mind and Spirit.


Why share Dr. John Hagelin PhD? Well I thought it would be better to share from a professor who specializes in particle physics, and who also shares the benefits of transcendental meditation.

According to Wikipedia: Hagelin

"Dr. John Hagelin PhD. is an American particle physicist, three-time candidate of the Natural Law Party for President of the United States (1992, 1996, and 2000), and the director of the Transcendental Meditation movement for the US.[2]

Hagelin was a researcher at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) and the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC), and is now Professor of Physics and Director of the Institute of Science, Technology and Public Policy at Maharishi University of Management. He has conducted research into unified field theory and the Maharishi Effect."


In summary, I have broken down Dr. John Hagelin's definitions of Unified field, Consciousness, Hidden sector matter and Transcendental Meditation.
My attempt was to bring forward the understanding of these important key elements and to roll it up to an definable statement of how it is key to our well being via the relationship of "Consciousness and the Unified Field".


Dr. John Hagelin explains so brilliantly, something so fantastic as the unified field and the relationship of consciousness via meditation.

Many scientist may not agree with his hypothesis.. But what if John Hagelin is correct? What if..

First we start with the Unified Field:

In the video below, John Hagelin explains: What is the unified field?

Unified Field in theory is at the bases of all the creation in the universe.

The ocean of existence is a bigger reality.. aka the Unified field.

The unified field is infinitely dynamic and non-material.

The unified field, you can call it a field of intelligence of pure abstract existence.

And it is self interacting with itself, Self aware.. of it's own existence.

And the dynamical self interacts leads to stage by stage the emergence of the universe.

Dr. John Hagelin also defines the unified field intelligence as:

It is the origin of the laws of nature.. it is the unified source of the diverse laws of nature,..governing the whole universe, at every level, and the laws of nature are the orderly intelligent principles governing the universe.

The laws of nature make the universe understandable.

The laws of nature are the intelligent principles governing the universe at every level.

The laws of nature make the universe predictable, intelligible, comprehensible

And if the unified field is the unified source, of all the laws of nature?

The compact concentrated source of all the laws of nature and all the order displayed through out the universe it must in some sense be the most concentrated field of intelligence in nature.


Second, Consciousness:

Dr. John Hagelin, goes into explaining, What is consciousness?

Awareness within.

Pure consciousness can be expanded into the infinite, into an inner universe.

What does Dr. John Hagelin mean about Consciousness.. he means awareness itself, awareness of the Self.

The fundamental subjectivity at the basis of the mind.

The Self, that which sees..


Third; Hidden Sector Matter:

Dr. John Hagelin speaks about the hidden sector world. Hidden sector world interacts with us through gravity although weakly should not be ignored.

Hidden Sector Matter is somehow connected to, Subtle bodies, astral bodies, are suggested that they actually exist.

Hidden sector matter creates bodies of a macroscopic size. and those macroscopic bodies cling to us electrostatically and they can also be separated from us.

And they provide very interesting properties which actually make it a thinking body possibly a useful tool, helper to the brain.

The brain may have help from hidden sector body (scale invariance, meaning size doesn't matter) can be a conduence, for a macroscopic thought, for a macroscopic brain, for appreciation and perception can link to a level of life that is much much smaller and much much deeper.

Hidden sector matter has the possibilitity of being relatied to thought.

Something created the action, the action of vehicle was or must of been hidden sector matter.

Transending scale, important element.


Fourth; Transcendental Meditation:

Why is transcendental meditation so important? And what is it?

Attention is drawn deeply within.

Transcendental meditation is a technique that puts in you in a deep state of being. A deep state of relaxation and via inner quietness, stillness, silence.

Unified state of Consciousness, is the complete settling activity of the mind. Emphasizing on complete. Idling state of mind, a state of deep self awareness that is deeply universal within.

Dr. John Hagelin explains the relationship transcendence meditation has to health, in the sense of relieving stress and the benefits of what it does to your mind , brain, and body.

Very important:

Meditation takes a person to whole brain functioning.. Like the universe and the unified field and whole universe functioning.

Improvements through transcendence meditation, it increases well being, IQ intelligence.. benefits in emotional intelligence,and so on by developing and engaging the total whole brain.


Summary roll up:

The structure of Consciousness mirroring the structure of the unified field suggests they could be one and the same.

The theory does bring up some important arguments as to Consciousness and the Unified Field connecting us all. And through meditation we can improve our quality of life, by being connected to our most inner Self.

In John Hagelin final closing statement is so profound:

"The simplest explanation is that these two unified fields one at the basis of human experience, one at the basis of everything else in nature that these two unified fields are one."


In closing:

And through all of this I find it so amazing, that we can become more connected to the Self. Meaning our real Self, that part of us that feels the connection with something. That part of us that is aware that we do experience existence. It allows us to become more familiar with ourselves. To get to truly know ourselves and not be reactive to the outside world, because in the most universal sense we are one and the same a part of the whole.

It allows us to have more compassion for ourselves as we go through life. It improves the quality of life, through the appreciation of knowing through this miracle of this particle Universe, you and I exist.

"To explore is to be boundless."

Thursday, April 26, 2012

How Does Self Awareness Effect Your Well Being?

Being self aware can greatly increase and enrich our life experience. This video really touches on some interesting insights. And it triggered a memory for me, and perhaps it will for you too.

When I was a young child I was very much a loner and an introvert. I would visit my favorite park, and sit underneath this huge tree to be alone and just be. Here I would reflect on my own immortality and what life meant to me.

One day many years ago, I was very upset and played hookey from school, to upset to go to class.

So I did what was comfortable for me, and went to my park. I still visit this very same park to this day, and the tree is still standing. Wow, if that tree could talk.

My point here is... to focus on what life means to you. And how you can enhance your own life by living your life to the fullest. And to release yourself, from any self made barriers, by offering some insights into why we do the things that we do.

Here's a piece I wrote a few years back, it speaks about Consciousness shifting, which really means to become acutely self aware of of your own existence, as best as I can explain it.

And as we do become more aware of our own existence, and be in the moment, it is in that appreciation of the miracle of life, and truly feeling the aliveness within. That enriches our lives so much more.

Keeper of the Key (up for change)

Reflecting back into my life I often wondered why I felt it was impossible to live the life of my dreams. I was acutely aware of a force I was pushing up against, but I didn’t know how to get past it. It was as if my nose was pressed up against a clear glass window looking at what my life should be like.

And yet still I could see my own reflection, me looking back at myself, was this my answer? Could I be the one who was keeping me from opening myself to the life I wanted?

When I was in my twenties, I remember the big dreams I had, the things I wanted to accomplish and achieve. In my thirties my dreams became a little smaller, and in my forties, I asked myself what happened? Every year I would set a goal to manifest my desires only to find another year to pass with the same result.

The harder I tried the more resistance I would feel. Somehow I knew there had to be an answer, there had to be a way. Now in my mid-forties my dreams have come back and are larger than ever. I have the excitement to know my desires are possible to attain and to live. What changed? Consciousness Shifting!

When I start to feel that invisible pressure keeping me from my desires, I shift. I am aware, I am in the moment, I am present, I know that now is new. I’ve learned the power of “Consciously Shifting”.

I use my body as a compass and focus my awareness to where I’m feeling stimulation in my body. I’ve learned to notice if I am feeling some discomfort… of pressure in an area, to allow myself to be in the presence of that feeling. When I do this that hidden force seems to lose it’s power. I become clear.

And now…

My life is more open to new possibilities, I know I have the freedom to choose, to create and to be. I have an intuitive knowing that “I am” the creator as well as the created. There’s an expansive freedom to allowing myself to receive my hearts desire.

When I look back at who I was before and who I am now, I am so grateful for crossing paths with this modality. Imagine,..the power to consciously shift, to be able to clear myself of barriers holding me back. Had I not made this discovery I know I would still be pressing my nose up against that clear glass window, wishing for a different result.

Before consciousness shifting I allowed my limiting beliefs to keep me in a self made prison, wondering if I would ever be free. As I reflect back I know I had the key hidden in the grip of my hand all along,.. and as I am present I unfold my fingers,..look into my palm and I see the imprint of my very own key.

Keeper of the Key

In this video it truly explains well why we may live the way we do. And in being Self aware can really enhance our lives:)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Power vs Force

When I think of these two concepts Power and Force, it makes so much sense to what David Hawkins was sharing in his book Power vs Force.

Although our ideas may differ, this is what my interpretation is as I read the book, and the insights I took away from it.

Coming from a place of power is a constant always being state. It is an universal constant of existence. It is the creation of everything. It is self emanating never to be deceased. It is the source that manifests life, self awareness and consciousness.

Force, is the pushing, going from one place to the other, and energy that overwhelms and wanes. It is the supply that can run out and be depleted. It is the controlled wanting to control an outcome.

Reading the Book Power vs Forces was an incredible experience. It really opens you up to possibilities that give you insight to how human behavior can work. About consciousness and how the different levels of it can create and influence our reality. What David Hawkins calls the "Map of Consciousness".

David Hawkins is brilliant in describing the idea about consciousness. What is it and how does it effect us. He also breaks it down into levels of consciousness. And how there are a small percentage of people who at higher levels of consciousness that can effect all of humanity.

One of the profound ways he shares is about muscle testing and finding out what the core essence of truth is. In his book he clarify's the importance of truth and how this can enhance your life.

When I first read it, I was blown away at the very thought of our own consciousness effecting our well being, and even effects someone else. How we are all connected as a species and as a whole among all that exists.

David Hawkins has a series of books that follows that explains even more about the hypothesis, of what consciousness is. He scales the levels of consciousness from the below 200's to the peak of 1000. In which 1000 is Christ Consciousness. Which really can go beyond into infinity.

In one example he writes about rational mind and how it can take you so far. This level of consciousness is in the 400's and it only can take you to a certain distance and that rational mind can be a barrier into itself. Don't get me wrong, minds are brilliant. They can describe and realize so many concepts, ideas, decipher, and have vast universal understanding of theories of life and our existence. They have the ability to think and create and to imagine. In this way they are limitless in and in another way they can be a boundary. It is most definitely is a paradox.

What David Hawkins suggests is..

That there is only so much the mind can understand and that unconditional Love can take you to another leap in consciousness to the 540's and above.

And that unconditional love, is something we have a kind of faith in that it is a kind of formless. If I can describe it, something deeper than feeling, a knowing. And with this we can start to effect life/consciousness with grace.

What I am describing only touches the surface of what this Power vs Force shares. It is one of those brilliant collections of pages that shares incredible stimulating thoughts of how we live our lives. Be it a life time of sleeping or becoming awaken by the power of knowing we are so much more. And that our lives have meaning, and when you become acutely aware of the existence of your own life. How shall you live it? You become more empowered into your own life, and you have a deeper understanding of who you are.

In this video David R Hawkins shares about his concepts of truth and how important it is...

Hawkins January 9th 2010 full interview

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Looking into the Eyes of Narcissism

Discover how Kim Cooper and her husband were able to build a better relationship and marriage by learning the difference between “Healthy Narcissism” and “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”…

  • Healthy Narcissism: is a feature related to Greatness.
  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Someone who lacks empathy and is impatient, rude and dishonest (manipulative) with their family. Someone who is trapped in false pride with an inability to admit shame or guilt.

Introducing Kim Cooper, a woman whose journey to find a solution for NPD with in her marital relationship, that lead to helping others benefit from what she discovered.

Kim is the author of Back from the Looking Glass, The Love Safety Net Workbook, 10 Steps to Overcome Codependence, Emotional Stupidity, and The Little Book of Empathy Love and Friendship.

You can follow The Love Safety Net and Kim Cooper on Google+ here...

Kim, your story is very inspiring. Just about everyone around you was giving advice to end your marriage, professionals, family and friends.

However in your heart you knew there how to be an answer, that your marriage could be saved and your family can stay together and there could be peace in your home.

Where most would of just divorced, you decided to do something different. You researched, studied and found out about a behavior problem.. that could disturbed anyones life, to put it mildly. Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Looking at it from the perspective of a woman.. Women are known to be the nurturers, and many times suffer from self esteem issues. They can be their’ own worse critics at times. Taking full blame for what is wrong in their relationships when it could be your partner is suffering from NPD to some degree or even yourself.

“Awareness is the beginning to understand possible change.”

There can be a new understanding of how NPD can effect a family, spouses and children, and what you can do about it.

So lets begin Kim...

Margie D Casados: What got you started on this path?

Kim Cooper: Well to be honest Margie most of my adult life had been one bad relationship after another. I had been hurt so many times and I had hurt men too. Once I was married to Steve and we had kids however the hurt reached a whole new dimension. The fights no longer only affected us, and because I was stuck at home looking after them and our life was so chaotic, financially and socially I was really very trapped.

I had tried just about everything you can imagine to “fix things” with us, including a lot of sensible approaches that looked like they might work (but didn’t) but also out of sheer desperation I tried a lot of superstitious nonsense too!

The change really came however when I finally met a police officer who started teaching me how to handle Steve better. I am sorry to say I did not get this help the first time I approached the police (that was actually a disaster) it actually took quite a long time for me to find this help.

Margie D Casados: How did this effect you personally, what changes did you see in yourself?

Kim Cooper: Well one of the first things this man taught me was that I needed to stop being emotional when I asked for help. That was advice I really needed to hear. After that there were so many changes that I hardly recognize myself when I look back now on how I was behaving then.

Margie D Casados: What have you discovered about yourself, then and now?

Kim Cooper: I came to discover that I can trust myself and really that is all that matters. Other people might let me down but that doesn’t mean I need to let myself down. That was an amazing thing for me to come to experience. I think before I was always looking for someone to help me come to terms with myself.

Margie D Casados: What did Narcissistic behavior teach you? What did codependency teach you?

Kim Cooper: Once I put myself in Steve’s shoes I was just shocked at how bad it must have felt for him to have so completely given up on love or of ever being treated fairly. You see I knew deep down he really cared about us – but he wasn’t playing fair because he had come to believe life would never be fair to him. He had actually given up on life and on love before he even met me.

So his narcissism taught me that I wasn’t going to gain his trust by playing nice. If you play nice with someone who is lying to you or not playing fair with you that doesn’t make them trust you – it just makes them think you are a pushover and an idiot!

I had kept telling him I could take care of him, that I could love him and make it all better. However, I came to see that in his head he was thinking – “How can you help me when you can’t even see that I am lying to you and that you are in danger!” Because you see that was the kind of world he had come from. He had seen a lot of relationships while he was growing up where people cheated on each other and he had given up on love.

So that was a big turning point for me. Before I only saw myself as the victim and that I had it so bad. Once I saw how he had given up on love I realized what a truly terrible place that was and that I was not going to be able to save him from the desolation of that place without becoming very strong.

Later this helped me see my own narcissism too. Like the times I longed for someone to love and adore me. As if that was magically going to fix everything in my life. Because that is what giving up on love feels like. It is when you have that longing for some fantasy stranger to love you – because you have given up on your marriage in real life. It is easy for us to forgive ourselves feeling that way but it really hurts when it happens to us.

As for what my codependency taught me, I guess that would have to be that emotions can be very useful and also profound in how they teach and direct us without them needing to take over our lives or tear us apart.

Margie D Casados: How did this effect your family and friends?

Kim Cooper: Ha! That is a very good question Margie, but the answer may not be what you expect! You see before I had always been looking for friendship outside my family (old and new). Friends to support me and help me feel okay about myself – but after I started getting better all of that stopped. I have a very few close friends now and a lot of people fell away.

Instead of looking for friends I started looking for people who really were in qualified positions to help me. I started making business contacts too and forming a network of people in my community who respected me. I did things I never imagined I would do such as looking for a church to join with our family and enrolling in community activities. This has been great for both Steve, myself and our kids. I never believed I would EVER see Steve coming to church with us but the first day he did he was just so proud that he felt good enough about himself to be seen out in ‘decent society’ in that way. I know that might sound strange saying decent, but that is really what it was like. Church is as much about publicly stating our morals now as it is about anything else. It is about saying we are working on building a solid respectable family – instead of in the past when we were more worried about looking cool.

This had a very surprising affect on our kids too. Being teenagers I thought they might be worried about us not trying to look cool anymore – but that isn’t what happened at all. They don’t always like coming to church with us but it turns out that they love how stable we have become. Like my 15 year old son even told me that some of his friends’ mothers have tried to flirt with him at parties when they are drunk. He said he wanted to let me know how glad he was that I wasn’t like that and that I that am not like so many of his friends’ mums who still try and act like they are teenagers or in their twenties when they are not. I was so flattered and thrilled when he said that he loves it that I am not ashamed of how old I am and of being a solid and sensible mum.

So really the effect is hard to overestimate. I mean truly, absolutely everything about our life has changed for the better and we don’t look very hard for friendships outside our family – but still we really do have a lot of very solid and wonderful friends now including our son’s girlfriend and our other kids’ friends.

Margie D Casados: How did this affect your Marriage?

Kim Cooper: Steve and I are best friends now. We work together and do everything together and laugh all the time that we are becoming one person! It is so funny that becoming more emotionally independent has actually made us more interdependent in our life. We play team with everything and we take care of each other and ourselves.

Margie D Casados: What did this discovery do for your husband?

Kim Cooper: Well it wasn’t just one discovery! Unfortunately for me it was a lot of trial and error and I made a lot of mistakes. At first Steve fought me tooth and nail – but I understand that now. That was part of me proving I was tough and trust worthy. His vulnerable side was never going to trust that I could be an equal partner in taking care of us unless I was able to take his “bad side” down. I remember saying it to him just like that once. I looked him straight in the eye and I said, “I am not going to let you drag our family’s reputation through the gutter! The side of you that wants to do that is my sworn enemy and I swear I will take that part of you down! But the honest side of you that wants a better life for us and is scared, I will always protect.”

I saw he liked that. He didn’t believe me at first and ‘oh my!’ did he test me – but I was good to my word. So when his bad side finally did come down and he started being able to show his fear everything changed. You see then he could start being honest about things he was failing at and so he could start learning again. He has come so far and has since picked up an incredible array of skills. He is so confident now and so solid I would trust him with my life.

Margie D Casados: What did it do for you?

Kim Cooper: Well it is still a work in progress of course (lol) – but I know I am much less of an emotional burden on my family and I have dug really deep and realized a lot of skills too.

Margie D Casados: Where is the NPD path leading you to now?

Kim Cooper: Professionally, and now that our manuals are not only e-books but are finally in print, we really hope this year to partner with as many government and church organizations as we can to help get our program out to as many families in crisis as possible. On a personal level I look forward to our new stability continuing to spread and bring healing to our extended family and community … Eventually I think I would love to be building a nice garden somewhere while also seeing our emotional intelligence exercises being taught to kids in school.

Margie D Casados: What do you hope for people who are suffering from NPD or their loved ones? How will they benefit by your teachings?

Kim Cooper: I hope that they will find the peace we have and know that there is hope. It was once taught that a person’s character was formed by the age of 7 and that as people got older they never changed. We know now that is simply wrong. It is actually easiest to learn emotional intelligence skills in your 40′s and so things can get better. A person with narcissistic tendencies however feels very vulnerable inside and so it is hard for them to let that outer shell down without there being a lot of no nonsense love and support around them.

Margie D Casados: What do you see in the future for Narcissism?

Kim Cooper: I hope that they come up with a better name and diagnostic criteria for this disorder rather than simply pulling it from the DSM (because of the current confusion) as is now planned. I also hope that a better understanding of the profile of this disorder comes to the community so that crimes involving domestic and family abuse (including missing children) can be better understood. Like in what I said to Steve all those years ago, I have sympathy for the individuals – but not their behavior – and so I think that having a clearer picture – even down to an accurate criminology profile for narcissists and also codependents – would help solve and also prevent many terrible crimes. I think it would also make our society a much safer, happier and less chaotic place to live.

Margie D Casados: If there were one message that you would want to share about your experience, What would it be?

Kim Cooper: You don’t have to live in shame and silence! If you and your partner are fighting or you do not know how to deal with your negative emotions (without drugging yourself or giving up on your dreams for yourself) please have a look at what we teach because if it could change ours – and so many people’s lives – so drastically, there is a very good chance we can help you!

Discover more about What is the Narcissistic / Co-dependence Marriage?

Even more for you on our blog Narcissism Daily Mirror here

Kim’s story has truly been a fascinating one…

Thank you Kim for sharing your message.. and helping us to understand more of how NPD can possibly effect someone’s life and that there possibly can be a solution to this problem.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Love Safety Net

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? And can NPD effect your life?

Define by Kim Cooper in her book "Back from the Looking Glass" NPD is:

A person with this disorder will treat their partner and children very differently in private than in public. In public they may ignore you and give all of their attention to other people, pretending to be the perfect husband, father, wife or mother.

In private however, they will be sarcastic, haughty, insulting and put people down (even
friends) behind their back. They will show little or no regard for your well-being or feelings
and may act like they are superior and more popular than you (and show favoritism between their kids) while often being cold, arrogant, withdrawn and unavailable.

It is also worth noting that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder scape-goat their
deficiencies on other people and so may choose a partner who is less socially skilled than
themselves as their foil.

In this short video, Steve Cooper shares his and Kim's story about how NPD effected their life, and how through learning some relationship skills with himself, has made his life and his family's life much better..

Reading the The Love Safety Net and other books such as Back from the Looking Glass, written by Kim Cooper, puts a new set of eyes on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Kim shares her story and how she and her family learned new relationship skills on how to overcome NPD in the household. In her series of books you learn that there is hope and that it is possible to enhance and improve your life..

How many times have you been frustated with a cycle of anger, resentment, and disarray in your home?

How do you deal with someone who is creating an environment that is stressful in your home?

What do you do to protect your own peace within? How do you sooth yourself? And how do you transform a stressful home into a happy home?

In this interview I ask Kim a few questions that may help someone living with NPD, what they can do to possibly improve their life as well as their relationships, family, friends and home life.

This interview only scratches the service.. and I highly recommend reading her series of books.
The Love Safety Net, The Love Safety Net workbook, Back from the Looking Glass, The little book of Empathy and more.
She has impressed me with her honesty and her desire to help others who are struggling with NPD in their lives. And shares there is a way to get through this problem and to live a life of happiness and security..

Start Interview:

In the Love Safety Net, you recommend coming from a place of strength and to focus on being happy, you use the scissor method.
Can you explain how the Scissor method works, and what it can do for the person who is living with a person who suffers with NPD?

Yes magic scissors is important - it works by you literally imagining a cord tying you to your obsessions or worries about your partner and then use your fingers like scissors in the air to cut that string tying you to that worry.

But this doesn't mean that things won't still make you angry! It is very important to understand that anger is not unhealthy. It is normal to feel angry when someone disrespects or exploits us. The trick is how we regulate that response. It is okay to say someone has made you angry and to tell them why. It is not usually productive however to become hurtful by calling them names etc. as this will only make them defensive. As hard as it can be it is much better to stay open and let them know you feel angry and hurt.

After this however it is very important not to let yourself be drawn into an argument. Discussing things when you are angry isn't smart - and if you live with someone who is narcissistic - they will not acknowledge your hurt anyway. Anger should be a signal to you that a boundary of yours has been crossed and maybe you need to consider how much you should really be trusting this person. Anger is important you see and so what made you angry is something you really should remember and so I suggest that you go and write down what happened as soon as you can after you get angry. Then after you have made this note it is good if you can get some time out and do something to calm or soothe yourself.

Because being angry let's you know the boundary has been crossed - but it will not help you set that boundary. As tempting as it may be you can't usually do this by asking a person to change or by asking them to stop what they are doing.

You might as well ask your dog to stop running around your neighbourhood! It won't work and so instead, just like with with the dog, you are going to need a real fence!

Because until trust builds we do need fences to protect ourselves within our relationships! These fences may include things like separating your money and having it where only you can access it - or learning better scripts for you to deal with situations where you know that your partner is often disrespectful of you.

Working out what kind of fences you need and how to build them is what our work is all about - but you can't do that when you are angry. This is why you need to be able to disengage and refuse to continue in conversations that will only become an argument. For myself learning to say "I am not prepared to talk about this any further" was extremely empowering. Then you need to be able to calm yourself and get back to your own routine and goals as soon as you can. Then maybe a day or two later you can look at what you wrote down and think about setting a clear boundary.

Until that boundary is set magic scissors can also help you. Like if you fear that your partner is having an affair. Worrying about that and where they are may interfere with your routine and your own goals to the point where you cannot function very well and all you feel like doing is questioning them and getting angry. This won't work and until you get real boundaries in place it is important that you can 'snip' those obsessive worries and not be knocked off your own game.

So there are a bunch of skills in the process I have described. First is learning to state your feelings honestly even when you are mad and then learning to disengage from the conversation to write down what angered you. Then comes self soothing and magic scissors (to keep you from becoming emotionally unbalanced) and then last but not least are the skills to set boundaries that are effective at protecting yourself.

So that might sound hard and it will take time - but the great thing is that it doesn't require you doing or saying something different in the moment. You see relationship advice that requires that just won't work. We think next time I will do it differently and I won't let him make me angry - but in reality we can't stop that. Our amygdala (emotional brain) fires much faster than our reasoning brain and so when an emotion hits us it is like lightening.

That is why we need to learn that the anger is okay - we just need to make different decisions about how we are going to regulate it. After we have calmed down we may remember that the same situation that made us angry has happened lots of times before and that we need to come up with a new script and rehearse it over and over so we can be ready next time and see the situation coming before it even hits us.

Because most of the time the triggers are things that happen in the same way many times over and we need to figure out a way to protect ourselves better next time when we are calm.

We often practice this with the kids around the dinner table. If someone is picking on them at school we all help with ideas for good comeback lines to help them deal with it better next time and even get the kids to role act the comeback lines we choose with each other. This has really helped my son who was diagnosed aspergers syndrome when he was younger but who only this year was voted school prefect! He didn't have any of the skills or scripts he needed to handle school by himself - but with regular coaching around the table at night - he has gone from the bottom to the top of the school social heirarchy, so we do know how effective this is.

I only mention this because I want people to understand how powerful better scripts are. Some people think that verbal abuse is impossible to stop as there are no laws against it, but practicing new scripts to deal with it will undoubtably give you more power to handle a person who thinks they can talk down to you.

What are the four pillars of a safe and happy home, and how do you get the?

Attachment - Limiting Abuse - Emotional Intelligence and Developmental gap work.

The process of learning these will be different with everyone depending on where their strengths and weakness are to start with and how abusive the partner they are dealing with is.

Love and affection is important, it also makes us vulnerable, as we give ourselves permission to love, how do we show someone with NPD it's okay for them to be loved? How do we help them to feel safe?
Anger is a natural defense it's for protection, how do we help someone with NPD to overcome this behavior?

The fastest way to build trust with someone with NPD is to show them that you are strong enough to now allow them to exploit or abuse you and that you can defend yourself while staying emotionally balanced and without abandoning them. If you think about it for awhile you might understand this. They are never going to trust someone who they can intimidate or exploit or who is emotionally needy with someone who really doesn't care about them.

Steve is very inspiring, he became aware of how he was behaving? What are some insights, and realizations that he learned about himself, as he was making a transition to over come NPD?

Steve learned that it was okay to admit he was scared and that I would protect him. This came after a long time of showing him that I was emotionally maturing and was not going to let his antics unbalance me any more. First I thought I needed a hero but in the end I saw that he in fact needed one more and that it was going to need to be me! Other than this Steve is not a terribly introspective person! A point came when he saw that he could not intimidate me anymore and he stopped then. Steve is a really stubborn and proud guy too and so when he made the decision to stop that was it and he has stuck to it. I cannot believe how patient he is with me now when I sometimes can be very unreasonable!

NPD people need to be supplied? How do you over come stopping the round about of cutting off the supply? Or the need to be supplied?

Yes I know the concept of attention supply but I am a little bit hesitant about the way some people use it as it can sound very dehumanizing - like a person with NPD is a machine - in the same way I don't like people describing a person with narcissistic tendencies as an 'N'. Because really narcissism is a defense and not who a person is.

People with NPD do like attention however and usually put on a good act to get it! This act is exhausting however and not about who they really are and so the attention they get for that act is not really satisfying. That is why they get so mad when you ask them to be charming and nice to you like they are to everyone else. They can't do it you see - because at home they are too exhausted and besides they think you are stupid for wanting that because they think you should see through it.

So I stopped needing Steve to be prince charming. I would not tolerate him being rude to us or crossing my boundaries but beyond that I didn't expect much. In fact I would encourage him to be quite and just be with us. After awhile he began to like that and it got easier. Once in awhile the bad behavior would come back (with his arrogant tone of voice etc.) and I would find out who was pumping up his ego and I would get onto it. I was very surprised when he really loved me for that. He needed that protection you see and was happier at home now than having to be someone he wasn't. Now it is the other way around and Steve doesn't have a lot of time for anyone outside of our family. We get his best and with the outside world he is more guarded which I believe is healthy. I even feel a little bit sorry for families I see that are very popular - because for me personally I would rather spend time with Steve and my kids and I find the outside world a lot more trecherous and demanding than the people at home I know and love.

What does Steve recommend for a person who is living with NPD or lives with a person with NPD?

He works on our help desk and every day he is recommending they read our books and just follow the steps and exercises! I know he also sometimes asks people to ask themselves why they didn't trust their instincts? He loves the story of BlueBeard to demonstrate this - Why didn't the girl in the story see the blue beard right there on his face and know something was wrong? The message here is that a person living with someone with NPD so much wants the false self that the NPD person pretended to be when they first met to return that they can't see that they are really in love with an illusion and that is a dangerous place to be. Being so desperate for that prince who will make your life together better than everyone else is ego too. So this is why Steve tells people they need to be more honest with themselves and start dealing with the reality of what is in front of them. It is the same as setting boundaries. As much as we might long for a partner we can trust with money maybe that just isn't what we have. And I don't bring this up randomly. I think about 80% of the people we help have partners who have credit cards hidden from them and are stuck needing to hide the money transactions to make the repayments. That problem is not going to go away with promises and breathy hugs and kisses. You need to stop kidding yourself if you live with someone with NPD and see it is like living with an addict. You need to get very strong and get very practical support in place and get your head out of the fairy tale!

Does Steve still have those old feelings creep up again and again? And how does he overcome any NPD episodes coming up, if they do anymore?

From where I sit I would say no, except for one issue which is him not taking it seriously when someone else is upset with him. Steve will still often think he can just argue and not need to take it seriously. He can be hard headed to get through to. You see he grew up with a sister who was very emotionally needy and demanding (to get attention) and so he is still rather suspect of the motives of anyone who is being emotional. Emotionality doesn't move him as much as annoy him and make him argumentative. That said he is working on that and when I push back now he does eventually stop and look at it without it becoming nasty or a fight like it used to. That is particularly true with our sons who are a lot more sensitive than Steve and so sometimes he needs to be reminded that him being regularly stern or annoyed with them won't help them do their chores better for instance - but instead just makes them resentful. So that is being really honest about us and I am sure I still have some problems too - but yes the main one is he is still a bit emotionally manipulative thinking he can get his way with the kids by sounding stern and annoyed too much (without setting clear consequences or boundaries) and he isn't very sensitive to seeing when that isn't actually working very well. But he is friendly with us a lot too and the kids really adore him and so it is not a huge problem - just something he still needs to be challenged on now and then.

What is the best thing that Steve has learned about himself? And what does he love about himself the most?

I just asked Steve about this and he says the best thing he has learned is that he can now admit when he isn't good at something which means instead of him having to put on an act he can instead learn new things which means he is growing now. It is interesting that he hadn't heard my answers before about the kids but still he mentioned that one of the new skills he is learning is new parenting skills.

As for what he loves most about himself now - he says it is that he doesn't take himself so seriously anymore which made us both laugh. And it's true because he is so much more light hearted and that does make him much easier to be around.

To find out more about Kim and the Love Safety Net or Her Guide on How to overcome living with Narcissistic behavior disorder just click on the highlighted link in this very sentence.

In closing, Kim and Steve, it has been inspiring listening to your story, and I know many people will benefit from getting to know more about your contributions for helping people with overcoming NPD in their lives.

Thank you for spending the time with us..
Wishing you happiness and all that is good..
The Art of Healing:)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Is the Universe Infinite?

In this post, I have put together a collection of abstract concepts and questions to give pause and to just think about. Some may connect with you and some may not...

Is the universe infinite? And what does this have to do with well being, and healing?

First we must look at the infinite, putting it into play that anything is possible. In our own rational minds we can not even comprehend an unending. Therefore we have to put our intuitive self into focus. Doesn't that sound paradoxical focusing on our intuitive Self ?

Something that is subtle and you can't quite put your finger on. Like looking at something via the corner of your eye.

If there is one universe? It would serve to think that possibly there are multiple universes. With infinite scenarios, with infinite realities.

Another few questions..
What is the mind? What is thought? What is consciousness?
In the book "The Eye Of The I" , written by David R Hawkins, he explains it really well about consciousness. Consciousness is the background of which thoughts are displayed..

If you can imagine a piece of paper with words on it.. The words being the thoughts, and the paper being the consciousness .. this has the possibilities of being consider that there is something beyond our selves, there is something more.

Our thoughts, and emotions can effect our health and well being. How powerful are our thoughts?

What causes Stress? Our reaction to a scenario in our heads? A story, a perception of how we think something should be and isn't ?.. Something we can’t control to our liking?

It is our reaction to something that inhibits or enhances our emotional health.

This is not to say we don’t feel sad, when it is valid to feel sad. This is normal. We feel what we feel. Grief and Loss are to be respected, because in our life that something lost'.. has value.
If it doesn’t have value, then why experience life?

Life is a gift, it is the existence of you.. How you live it, what you do with it is yours to live.

What is to be considered here is.. What is important to you, and the way that you live it.

A baby can be born with an illness.. Is it the baby's fault? No .. The world has tragedy and sorrow.. Who is responsible? There is war, there is lack...

It makes me think of the one hundred monkey theory .. When 100 or more have a learned behavior, then instantaneously the others of the same species learn it also.
Could this be true?

A scenario is created, there is the dominate idea or thought, be it good or bad. This thought is like the universe and expands. It creates an environment based on this thought.

One perception could lead to mass panic..
Then like the villagers running after Frankenstein with pitchforks and sticks. They all are caught up in the perception that something is bad.

Or the opposite, something that is good.
It can create euphoria and adoration if something is to be believed good.

Let’s go back to the baby born with a challenge, an illness.. Is it the baby's fault?
For what ever reason, in the infinite universe the circumstances were created to create that reality.

Infinite is something I believe can not be reasoned with the human mind because it is infinite..
In a paradox, this statement is true and untrue..

Like the moment.. This moment is all we truly have in one sense. In another time exist. This in itself, says that possibilities are infinite.

There is the outer Universe, and the inner Universe.. We can go in as deeply forever, uncovering layer after layers. Like an onion. Or we can go outer being the center of the onion and forever, uncovering by removing every thin layer of skin.

So what does this have to do with well being? What does this have to do with my health?
Our thoughts, are created by the perception of what we believe the way some thing should be. Something we want to control.

Therefore we create a story in our mind that things should be a certain way. This we react to that story. How we react to it is up to us.

Feelings such as anger, hate, resentment, sadness.. produce a reaction in our bodies and is stressful. When a house is under stress constantly it eventually falls down.

Feelings such as happiness, joy, and love.. produce endorphins that relax the body.

In our own reality, our story effects us some how. As we move through our story.. of course respecting the feelings you have, validate them, release them, and move on.

Why are memories important? We can relive a story over and over.. Like the echo in a canyon.
The thought being repeated in the mind.

It is just as real in your mind as you think it? We fantasize we dream. we have desires, we have goals.

There is fear, what if’s .. If we don’t achieve our goals. Attachment to the goal, to that thing.

In the universe where there is nothing and everything.. in the instant that you are alive..and you are not.. Is that a true statement? It is and it isn’t.

We can be attached and un attached.

Let’s consider the ego.. and don't let me get started on the subconscious that is for another day..

The ego is a powerful thing.. Some believe the ego is bad and they demonise it.
The ego does have purpose in this reality, it warns us of danger. It is a survival tool.
And in another reality, it is not to be needed.
The ego is really a tool.. The thing is the Ego should not lead you, You lead the ego.

What does this have to do with well being?

If you are silent and still, you can intuitively feel, that there is something bigger than ourselves.
Something familiar, that has always been with you all your life.

Well being is a state, of good in the Spirit, Mind, Body and Essence of the Self. It can be seeded and grown, through ourselves. The way that we see ourselves, our self and our Self, our faith, our beliefs, our thoughts, our feelings, and our reactions.

As we become more aware of the Self, we can explore more of who we our, and get to know more deeply of who we our. We can choose to create the life we experience with more inner wisdom. We can start to realize that we are the Universe and experience it as an individual in our universe.

We start to be more alive, and experience a more enriching life, by being aware that we exist.
And that this is so precious in itself, that every nuance of life is what it is.. something to be experienced and treasured.

Is the Universe infinite? This video it shares some interesting concepts.. Enjoy:)

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Art Of Healing Book By Margie D. Casados

Just beginning to write my book "The Art of Healing"

In this book I will share some of the methods my Mother and I explored to aid her with her disease, Parkinson's. She and I shared some tender and extreme moments helping her ease the challenges she had to endure with Parkinson's.